1 00:00:02,055 --> 00:00:03,397 As a kid, my favorite ride... 2 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:07,326 ...was the bumper car. Remember? Going around in a circle. 3 00:00:07,495 --> 00:00:09,534 There was always one kid that could not do it. 4 00:00:09,703 --> 00:00:10,913 Do you remember this kid? 5 00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,934 As soon as the ride gets started... 6 00:00:13,095 --> 00:00:15,397 ...he'd be, like, stuck in a pack of empty cars. 7 00:00:16,038 --> 00:00:17,249 Just-- 8 00:00:19,207 --> 00:00:21,116 ''Excuse me. 9 00:00:21,414 --> 00:00:23,422 Excuse me. It won't go! 10 00:00:23,911 --> 00:00:25,088 Come on! 11 00:00:25,479 --> 00:00:27,617 It's almost over!'' 12 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,721 He always ends up with the attendant... 13 00:00:30,886 --> 00:00:33,438 ...hanging off that big pole helping him steer it. 14 00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:38,437 ''Stop crying.'' 15 00:00:38,981 --> 00:00:40,290 Then there's always that other-- 16 00:00:40,453 --> 00:00:41,860 One other really bad car-- 17 00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:43,450 The helpless father-and-son team. 18 00:00:43,621 --> 00:00:45,476 This is another car just not going anywhere. 19 00:00:45,638 --> 00:00:47,743 They're never organized. Who's on the wheel? 20 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:49,339 Who's pressing on the gas? Just: 21 00:00:49,509 --> 00:00:51,419 ''Son, turn the wheel.'' 22 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,274 All right, Coney Island? 23 00:00:58,437 --> 00:01:01,055 Okay, you can take the B or the F and switch for the N... 24 00:01:01,221 --> 00:01:02,464 ...at Broadway and Lafayette. 25 00:01:02,628 --> 00:01:04,538 Or you can go over the bridge to DeKalb... 26 00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:06,367 ...and catch the Q to Atlantic Avenue... 27 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,402 ...then switch to the IRT, 2, 3, 4 or 5. 28 00:01:09,573 --> 00:01:10,783 But don't get on the G. 29 00:01:10,949 --> 00:01:12,989 That's very tempting, but you wind up on Smith... 30 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,360 ...and 9th Street. Then you gotta get on the R. 31 00:01:16,132 --> 00:01:18,783 Couldn't he just take the D straight to Coney Island? 32 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,441 Well, yeah. 33 00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:25,602 Okay. What time is your job interview, George? 34 00:01:25,763 --> 00:01:26,941 9:45. 35 00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:28,384 Don't whistle on the elevator. 36 00:01:28,836 --> 00:01:31,225 -Why not? -That's what Willy Loman told Biff... 37 00:01:31,396 --> 00:01:33,534 ...before his interview in Death of a Salesman. 38 00:01:33,699 --> 00:01:35,903 You're comparing me to Biff Loman? Very encouraging. 39 00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:38,718 The biggest loser in the history of American literature. 40 00:01:38,883 --> 00:01:41,152 -I gotta get going. -What time's the lesbian wedding? 41 00:01:41,443 --> 00:01:43,614 -9:30. -Lesbian wedding. 42 00:01:43,779 --> 00:01:46,594 How do they work the bride and groom on that? Do they flip a coin? 43 00:01:46,755 --> 00:01:48,730 Yeah, they flip a coin. 44 00:01:49,314 --> 00:01:52,216 What, was that not politically correct? It's a legitimate question. 45 00:01:52,706 --> 00:01:55,838 I'm so tired. I'm gonna fall asleep on that train. 46 00:01:56,003 --> 00:01:58,424 I feel when lesbians are looking at me, they're thinking: 47 00:01:58,595 --> 00:02:00,383 ''That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'' 48 00:02:02,466 --> 00:02:05,248 All right, Jerry, come on. Pick up the check so we can go. 49 00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:06,904 -I'm paying for breakfast? -Yeah. 50 00:02:07,074 --> 00:02:09,562 -Yeah. -Why do I always pay? 51 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,584 What am l, made of money? 52 00:02:11,874 --> 00:02:13,303 You bunch of deadbeats. 53 00:02:14,817 --> 00:02:16,606 How many tickets you paying today? 54 00:02:17,122 --> 00:02:21,148 Let's see. Speeding, running a red light, no license, no registration... 55 00:02:21,826 --> 00:02:24,825 ...no plates, no brake lights, no rear-view mirror. 56 00:02:25,377 --> 00:02:27,035 Look at that one. 57 00:02:27,553 --> 00:02:29,625 -''No doors''? -Yeah, I'm fighting that one. 58 00:02:30,528 --> 00:02:32,700 You know, this is gonna cost me over 600 bucks. 59 00:02:35,232 --> 00:02:37,469 I can't carry change in these pants. It falls out. 60 00:02:38,368 --> 00:02:41,019 -Here you go. -There you go. 61 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,492 Thank you. 62 00:02:45,056 --> 00:02:46,780 That guy's not blind. 63 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,488 So can I convince anybody to come down to Coney Island? 64 00:02:50,656 --> 00:02:52,892 Gotta pick up my car at the pound. George? 65 00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:54,878 I can't believe they found your stolen car. 66 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,349 Not only did they find it... 67 00:02:56,512 --> 00:02:58,900 ...it was simonized, and the front end was aligned. 68 00:02:59,872 --> 00:03:01,465 -That's amazing. -So, what do you say? 69 00:03:01,632 --> 00:03:03,966 Ride on the Cyclone. Hot dog at Nathan's on me. 70 00:03:04,127 --> 00:03:06,363 Who are you, Satan? I'm close to a job here. 71 00:03:06,527 --> 00:03:08,764 -It's my second interview. -All right, Biff. 72 00:03:10,527 --> 00:03:12,949 Elaine? Merry-go-round? 73 00:03:13,119 --> 00:03:15,158 I can't. I'm the best man. 74 00:03:15,519 --> 00:03:17,624 Kramer. Bumper cars. 75 00:03:17,791 --> 00:03:20,758 I gotta go to court. I'll get in trouble. What's the matter with you? 76 00:03:20,927 --> 00:03:23,032 It could be years till I get back to Coney Island. 77 00:03:23,199 --> 00:03:24,475 I can't go on the rides alone. 78 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,388 42nd Street. Change for the D and the double R... 79 00:03:27,551 --> 00:03:29,852 ...the 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, the C, K and F train. 80 00:03:43,070 --> 00:03:44,728 Well.... 81 00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:49,175 See you. 82 00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:38,389 Hey! 83 00:04:44,475 --> 00:04:45,653 Yeah! 84 00:05:35,193 --> 00:05:38,804 -You looking for a job? -Me? Why? 85 00:05:39,193 --> 00:05:41,135 Well, you're reading the classifieds. 86 00:05:41,305 --> 00:05:43,378 Oh, no. No, no. 87 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,414 I was just looking for the stock page. Here it is. 88 00:05:47,032 --> 00:05:48,374 Looking for the quotes. 89 00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:49,943 Gotta check the quotes. 90 00:05:50,104 --> 00:05:51,860 Love a good quote. 91 00:05:52,504 --> 00:05:54,228 IBM up a quarter. 92 00:05:54,584 --> 00:05:55,861 What do you know? 93 00:05:56,568 --> 00:05:59,088 You didn't look like someone who needed a job. 94 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,320 Me? No, I don't. 95 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:06,641 Doing very well. Very well, yeah. 96 00:06:07,096 --> 00:06:08,306 So you're in the market? 97 00:06:08,472 --> 00:06:11,636 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm in the market. 98 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:12,977 Which market? 99 00:06:13,847 --> 00:06:16,400 Which market? The.... The big one. 100 00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:18,902 The big market with the big board. 101 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:22,511 Bull market, bear market. You name the market, I'm there. 102 00:06:23,735 --> 00:06:25,939 So do you work for one of the big brokerage houses? 103 00:06:26,103 --> 00:06:27,379 They wish. 104 00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:28,917 I hate the big brokerage houses. 105 00:06:29,079 --> 00:06:30,508 Hate them with a passion. 106 00:06:30,678 --> 00:06:32,369 Big brokerage houses killed my father. 107 00:06:32,823 --> 00:06:35,059 -Really? -Well, they hurt him bad. 108 00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:37,197 Really hurt his feelings. 109 00:06:37,366 --> 00:06:40,400 It's a long story. I don't like to talk about it... 110 00:06:41,078 --> 00:06:43,663 ...but I swore I would never work for a big brokerage house. 111 00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:46,732 See, all they care about is money. 112 00:06:47,286 --> 00:06:49,708 I'm about more than money. I'm about... 113 00:06:49,878 --> 00:06:51,055 ...people. 114 00:06:51,318 --> 00:06:53,325 So I've always gone my own way... 115 00:06:53,942 --> 00:06:55,633 ...and I've never looked back. 116 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,249 I started riding these trains in the '40s. 117 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:23,469 Those days, a man would give up his seat for a woman. 118 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:27,213 Now we're liberated. We have to stand. 119 00:07:27,508 --> 00:07:28,685 It's ironic. 120 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,158 What's ironic? 121 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,332 This. That we've come all this way, we made all this progress... 122 00:07:33,492 --> 00:07:36,394 ...but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties. 123 00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:39,376 No, I mean, what does ''ironic'' mean? 124 00:07:42,419 --> 00:07:44,558 Where you off to with such a nice present? 125 00:07:44,724 --> 00:07:46,764 -Birthday party? -A wedding. 126 00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:48,655 -A wedding? -Yeah. 127 00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,630 I didn't think people still get married. 128 00:07:52,691 --> 00:07:54,895 It's hard today with the men and women. 129 00:07:55,251 --> 00:07:56,428 You're telling me. 130 00:07:56,723 --> 00:08:00,105 -So they're a nice couple? -Oh, very nice. 131 00:08:00,339 --> 00:08:02,608 What does he do, if you don't mind my asking? 132 00:08:02,771 --> 00:08:04,331 -She. -She? 133 00:08:04,498 --> 00:08:08,240 She. She works, he doesn't. He sounds like my son. 134 00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:10,317 There is no ''he.'' 135 00:08:10,962 --> 00:08:12,206 There's no he? 136 00:08:12,371 --> 00:08:14,411 So who's getting married? 137 00:08:15,859 --> 00:08:17,200 Two women. 138 00:08:17,362 --> 00:08:18,889 It's... 139 00:08:19,058 --> 00:08:20,399 ...a lesbian wedding. 140 00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,331 Lesbian wedding? 141 00:08:25,202 --> 00:08:28,104 Yep. Yep, I'm... 142 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,252 ...the best man. 143 00:08:32,562 --> 00:08:33,936 Great. 144 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:39,530 My luck. I don't talk to a soul on the subway for 35 years... 145 00:08:39,697 --> 00:08:42,283 ...I get the best man at a lesbian wedding. 146 00:08:42,449 --> 00:08:44,107 No, no. You don't understand. 147 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,800 I'm not a lesbian! 148 00:08:45,969 --> 00:08:49,003 I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian. 149 00:09:33,903 --> 00:09:35,397 I'm really looking forward to this. 150 00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:38,316 I love weddings. Maybe I'll meet somebody. 151 00:09:39,407 --> 00:09:40,683 Maybe not. 152 00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:46,533 Oh, man. We're stopping? 153 00:09:48,174 --> 00:09:50,956 Well, this is where I get off. 154 00:09:51,118 --> 00:09:53,769 -You do? -Yeah. 155 00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:56,901 Hey, why don't you...? Oh, nothing. 156 00:09:57,261 --> 00:09:58,472 No, no. What? 157 00:09:58,638 --> 00:10:00,939 Well, I was gonna say, ''Why don't you get off with me.'' 158 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,011 But you're obviously very busy on your way... 159 00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:05,091 ...to some important meeting or something. 160 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,206 Yeah. Well.... 161 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,740 See, I knew it was a bad idea. 162 00:10:14,894 --> 00:10:17,512 Hey, what's another million, give or take? I get off... 163 00:10:17,677 --> 00:10:19,564 ...when and where I wanna get off. 164 00:10:21,613 --> 00:10:23,915 I'm stuck. Could you just pull it a little--? 165 00:10:24,077 --> 00:10:25,321 This'll just be a second. 166 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,467 Don't-- Don't start the train! 167 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:28,806 Don't start the train! 168 00:10:29,293 --> 00:10:31,781 Here it is. Here it is, the four horse in the first race. 169 00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:34,021 -Pappernick. -How do you know he's gonna win? 170 00:10:34,189 --> 00:10:35,715 My UPS guy. Lance. 171 00:10:35,884 --> 00:10:38,121 The guys who own the horse are his regular customers. 172 00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:39,943 Every horse he's ever given me has won. 173 00:10:40,108 --> 00:10:41,863 -Yeah? -Yeah. They've been sandbagging... 174 00:10:42,027 --> 00:10:44,449 ...looking for a good spot. He's been getting in light... 175 00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:47,718 ...because they're using a bug boy. The workouts have been unpublished. 176 00:10:47,884 --> 00:10:50,186 They're ready to run with him. Gonna break his maiden. 177 00:10:50,348 --> 00:10:52,682 He's gonna go for a great price, maybe 30-1 . 178 00:10:52,843 --> 00:10:55,265 -I'm telling you, it's a lock. -But it rained last night. 179 00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:57,857 Exactly. This horse loves the slop. 180 00:10:58,027 --> 00:11:00,362 It's in his bloodlines. His father was a mudder. 181 00:11:00,523 --> 00:11:02,694 -His mother was a mudder. -His mother was a mudder? 182 00:11:02,859 --> 00:11:05,641 What did I say? Let's go to the office. I'm gonna call my bookie. 183 00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,265 Hey, don't tell anybody. 184 00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:12,896 Oh, man. 185 00:11:31,306 --> 00:11:33,029 Okay. 186 00:11:43,881 --> 00:11:46,663 You realize, of course, you're naked. 187 00:11:47,369 --> 00:11:50,336 Naked, dressed, I don't see any difference. 188 00:11:50,761 --> 00:11:52,321 You ought to sit here. 189 00:11:52,489 --> 00:11:53,896 There's a difference. 190 00:11:54,249 --> 00:11:56,966 You got something against the naked body? 191 00:11:57,289 --> 00:11:59,427 I got something against yours. 192 00:11:59,657 --> 00:12:02,406 How about a couple of deep knee bends, maybe some squat-thrusts? 193 00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:04,543 Who's got time for squat-thrusts? 194 00:12:04,712 --> 00:12:07,079 All right, how about skipping breakfast? 195 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,022 I'm guessing you're not a ''half-grapefruit and black coffee'' man. 196 00:12:10,185 --> 00:12:11,428 I like a good breakfast. 197 00:12:11,592 --> 00:12:14,276 I understand. I like a good breakfast... 198 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,669 ...long as you don't wind up trapped in a room in overalls and pigtails... 199 00:12:17,832 --> 00:12:19,588 ...being counseled by Dick Gregory. 200 00:12:20,168 --> 00:12:22,240 I'm not ashamed of my body. 201 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:26,150 Exactly. That's your problem. You should be. 202 00:12:27,175 --> 00:12:28,353 Don't get up. 203 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,658 Please, allow me. 204 00:12:34,983 --> 00:12:36,194 Oh, this is great. 205 00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:38,334 This is what I need, just what I need. 206 00:12:39,111 --> 00:12:41,151 Okay, take it easy. I'm sure it's nothing. 207 00:12:41,318 --> 00:12:43,042 Probably rats on the track. 208 00:12:43,207 --> 00:12:45,094 They're stopping for rats. 209 00:12:45,926 --> 00:12:47,453 God, it's so crowded. 210 00:12:47,623 --> 00:12:49,630 How could there be so many people? 211 00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,219 This guy really smells. 212 00:12:52,390 --> 00:12:54,245 Doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city? 213 00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:56,959 What is so hard? You take the cap off, you roll it on. 214 00:12:57,127 --> 00:12:59,614 What's that? I feel something rubbing against me. 215 00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:03,331 These disgusting animals. These people should be in a cage. 216 00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:04,704 We are in a cage. 217 00:13:05,478 --> 00:13:06,623 What if I miss the wedding? 218 00:13:06,789 --> 00:13:08,164 I got the ring. What'll they do? 219 00:13:08,326 --> 00:13:10,715 You can't get married without a ring. Oh, God-- 220 00:13:11,173 --> 00:13:12,896 I can't breathe. 221 00:13:13,061 --> 00:13:14,403 I feel faint. 222 00:13:14,565 --> 00:13:17,380 Okay, take it easy. It'll start moving soon. 223 00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:20,356 Think about people in concentration camps, what they went through. 224 00:13:20,518 --> 00:13:23,300 And the hostages! What would you do if you were a hostage? 225 00:13:23,461 --> 00:13:26,046 Think about that. This is nothing. 226 00:13:26,213 --> 00:13:28,701 No, it's not nothing, it's something. 227 00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:31,454 It's a nightmare. Help me! 228 00:13:31,621 --> 00:13:34,370 Move it! Come on! Move this f****** thing! 229 00:13:34,532 --> 00:13:35,907 Why isn't it moving?! 230 00:13:36,069 --> 00:13:38,654 What could go wrong with a train? It's on tracks. 231 00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:41,755 There's no traffic. How could a train get stuck? 232 00:13:41,924 --> 00:13:43,582 Step on the gas! 233 00:13:43,748 --> 00:13:46,618 What could it be? You'd think the conductor would explain it to us. 234 00:13:46,788 --> 00:13:49,788 ''I'm sorry, there's a delay. We'll be moving in five minutes. '' 235 00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:53,305 I wanna hear a voice. What's that on my leg?! 236 00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:04,832 Nice. 237 00:14:05,763 --> 00:14:08,283 Your company sends you on the road often, huh? 238 00:14:09,091 --> 00:14:12,352 Nice. Oh, hey, nice ice bucket there. 239 00:14:12,995 --> 00:14:15,035 Make yourself comfortable. 240 00:14:16,195 --> 00:14:18,137 Make myself comfortable? What does that mean? 241 00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:21,372 Does she want me to take my clothes off? Is she taking her clothes off? 242 00:14:21,635 --> 00:14:23,740 What if I take mine off and she still has hers on? 243 00:14:23,907 --> 00:14:26,295 I'd look like an idiot. She'd get offended and leave. 244 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,222 So maybe I should leave them on. 245 00:14:28,386 --> 00:14:30,753 But what if she takes hers off? She'll feel humiliated. 246 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,537 ''Make yourself comfortable?'' This woman's unbelievable. 247 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,389 This ''comfortable'' thing could ruin me. 248 00:14:35,554 --> 00:14:38,587 I got it. I'll take my shoes off and sit on the bed. 249 00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:39,931 There. That's comfortable. 250 00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:42,615 She can't accuse me of being uncomfortable. 251 00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:50,431 I gotta tell you, I'm pretty comfortable. 252 00:14:51,873 --> 00:14:53,051 Oh, yeah, it's all set. 253 00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:55,223 -They've got the bug boy on it. -The bug boy? 254 00:14:55,393 --> 00:14:57,881 Yeah, the little fellow's been riding his heart out. 255 00:14:58,049 --> 00:14:59,991 -They're gonna break his maiden. -Really? 256 00:15:00,161 --> 00:15:01,567 -Yeah. -It's a little slow out. 257 00:15:01,729 --> 00:15:03,834 -Rained last night. -This baby loves the slop. 258 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,935 Loves it. Eats it up. Eats the slop. Born to slop. 259 00:15:07,105 --> 00:15:08,315 His father was a mudder. 260 00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:10,782 -His father was a mudder. -His mother was a mudder. 261 00:15:10,945 --> 00:15:12,319 His mother was a mudder? 262 00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,010 What did I just say? 263 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:16,983 Hey. All right. 264 00:15:17,152 --> 00:15:19,902 Six hundred, Pappernick to win. 265 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,415 They still have no pitching. Gooden's a question mark. 266 00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:26,812 You don't recover from those rotator cuffs so fast. 267 00:15:26,976 --> 00:15:29,147 I'm not worried about the Mets' pitching. 268 00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:32,955 -They got no hitting. -No, they got hitting. Bonilla, Murray. 269 00:15:33,119 --> 00:15:35,356 -They got no defense. -Defense, please. 270 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,203 -They need speed. -Speed? They've got Coleman. 271 00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:40,440 -They need a bullpen. -Franco's no good? 272 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,876 -They got no team leaders. -They got Franco. 273 00:15:43,039 --> 00:15:44,566 What they need is a front office. 274 00:15:44,895 --> 00:15:47,066 -But you gotta like their chances. -I love them. 275 00:15:47,231 --> 00:15:50,646 lf they win it this year, I'll sit naked with you at the World Series. 276 00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:52,794 It's a deal. 277 00:15:55,263 --> 00:15:56,953 Why couldn't I take a cab? 278 00:15:57,118 --> 00:16:00,152 For $6, my whole life could have changed. 279 00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:03,516 What is that on my leg? 280 00:16:04,415 --> 00:16:05,941 I'll never get out of here. 281 00:16:06,526 --> 00:16:09,079 What if I'm here for the rest of my life? 282 00:16:09,566 --> 00:16:11,737 Maybe I'll get out in five seconds. 283 00:16:12,318 --> 00:16:14,357 One banana, two banana... 284 00:16:14,525 --> 00:16:16,696 ...three banana, four banana... 285 00:16:16,861 --> 00:16:18,388 ...five banana. 286 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:21,652 No. I'm still here. 287 00:16:22,142 --> 00:16:25,273 Still here. When will they start moving? 288 00:16:25,438 --> 00:16:26,779 Move! 289 00:16:26,941 --> 00:16:29,494 Move! Move! 290 00:16:30,653 --> 00:16:32,114 It's moving. 291 00:16:32,477 --> 00:16:34,102 It's moving! 292 00:16:34,653 --> 00:16:36,147 Yes! 293 00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:37,655 Yes. 294 00:16:39,644 --> 00:16:41,237 Mother******! 295 00:16:47,709 --> 00:16:49,978 Gee, I hope you have the key for these things. 296 00:16:50,684 --> 00:16:53,106 Oh, don't worry, I do. 297 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,409 My mother used to walk around our apartment... 298 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,824 ...in her bra and panties. 299 00:16:57,532 --> 00:17:00,630 She didn't look anything like you. She was... 300 00:17:00,796 --> 00:17:03,992 ...really disgusting, really bad body. 301 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,888 You know, if you can imagine an uglier, fatter version of Shirley Booth. 302 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,057 Remember Shirley Booth in Hazel? 303 00:17:11,547 --> 00:17:13,784 Really embarrassing, because I had the only mother... 304 00:17:13,947 --> 00:17:15,987 ...in the neighborhood who was worse than Hazel. 305 00:17:16,155 --> 00:17:19,155 -You can imagine the taunts I'd hear. -Like what? 306 00:17:19,323 --> 00:17:20,730 Like: 307 00:17:21,051 --> 00:17:23,539 ''Hey, your mother's uglier than Hazel.'' 308 00:17:23,898 --> 00:17:26,516 ''Hazel really puts your mother to shame.'' You know. 309 00:17:34,395 --> 00:17:35,605 What's going on? 310 00:17:35,898 --> 00:17:38,964 It was a pleasure doing business with you, but I have to get going. 311 00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:42,484 Get going? But we haven't really, you know.... 312 00:17:42,714 --> 00:17:44,121 Eight dollars? 313 00:17:44,282 --> 00:17:46,387 -Eight dollars? -What are you doing, robbing me? 314 00:17:46,554 --> 00:17:48,725 I wasted my whole morning on you for $8? 315 00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:51,439 Wait a second. What are you doing? 316 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,137 -I'm taking your clothes. -No, no, that's my only suit! 317 00:17:54,298 --> 00:17:57,112 It cost me $350! I got it at Moe Ginsburg! 318 00:17:57,273 --> 00:17:59,826 -Bye, George. -You can't just leave me here. 319 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,741 Will I see you again? 320 00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:11,121 It's Hoy's Boy followed by Jamet... 321 00:18:11,288 --> 00:18:14,070 ...Little Baggit, Kiss Harmony and then a long way to Flagrant. 322 00:18:14,232 --> 00:18:16,949 -Come on! -Into the stretch... 323 00:18:17,112 --> 00:18:20,211 ...with an 1/8th of a mile to go, Stepagain, Passionel battling it out. 324 00:18:20,377 --> 00:18:23,027 Clear from Jamet, Pappernick's starting to make some ground... 325 00:18:23,192 --> 00:18:26,541 -...but Stepagain is the leader.... -Come on. 326 00:18:26,712 --> 00:18:29,876 -Come on! Yes! -Look at Pappernick, sprouting wings. 327 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,276 -Yes! Yes! -Stepagain, just falling back. 328 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,545 -Yes! -Pappernick flashing home. 329 00:18:34,712 --> 00:18:38,159 Stepagain, Pappernick, Pappernick and Stepagain to the line.... 330 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:41,934 -Yes! Yes! Yes! -The winner is Pappernick. 331 00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:45,104 Yes, yes! I won. Hey! 332 00:18:52,023 --> 00:18:53,200 Yeah. 333 00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:31,123 I haven't had a hot dog at Nathan's in 20 years. 334 00:19:31,285 --> 00:19:32,627 First, we ride the Cyclone. 335 00:19:34,229 --> 00:19:35,691 Chilly out. 336 00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:41,140 French fries. 337 00:19:47,765 --> 00:19:48,942 Hey, hey! 338 00:19:50,388 --> 00:19:52,560 Give me the money. 339 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,547 Freeze! Police! 340 00:20:00,628 --> 00:20:02,799 No, I never got the car. We had such a good time... 341 00:20:02,964 --> 00:20:05,811 ...by the time I got to the police garage, it was closed. 342 00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:08,013 Too bad. 343 00:20:08,244 --> 00:20:11,179 You wouldn't believe what this guy put away at Nathan's. 344 00:20:11,347 --> 00:20:13,519 Look at what we won. You want him? 345 00:20:13,684 --> 00:20:15,025 Get that out of my face. 346 00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:19,184 So you missed the wedding. You'll catch the bris. 347 00:20:26,035 --> 00:20:28,817 Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! 348 00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:32,299 How'd you like a Hare Krishna fist down your throat, you little punk? 349 00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:35,432 George. 350 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:36,780 Biff. 351 00:20:37,331 --> 00:20:39,665 What, did you whistle on the elevator? 352 00:20:39,858 --> 00:20:41,833 I have my spare key in your apartment, right? 353 00:20:42,322 --> 00:20:43,566 Yeah, in the kitchen drawer. 354 00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:45,388 -Give me your key. -What happened? 355 00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:48,718 Never mind what happened, just give me the key. 356 00:20:48,882 --> 00:20:51,915 -Come on, I'll go with you. -Here. Pay. 357 00:20:53,362 --> 00:20:55,118 Wait, wait. Give me that. 358 00:21:01,457 --> 00:21:02,984 All right. 359 00:21:04,593 --> 00:21:07,659 So I take the subway down to Coney Island... 360 00:21:07,825 --> 00:21:09,963 ...to go on the Cyclone. I'm riding on the subway. 361 00:21:10,129 --> 00:21:13,195 I'm sitting on the D train for an hour and 1 5 minutes... 362 00:21:13,361 --> 00:21:15,816 ...to go on a scary ride. 363 00:21:16,049 --> 00:21:18,056 Okay, how dumb is that? 364 00:21:18,289 --> 00:21:21,387 You know that first sharp drop on the Cyclone? Fell asleep. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net